Potential new gravel rider needs bike

First of all "hello" this is my first post in what seems like a friendly forum from what I've read so far. There are a few posts that answers a few of my questions but I thought I'd introduce myself and hopefully get some words of wisdom. 

I'm looking at getting my first gravel bike and have looked at all the normal online reviews including YouTube and a nice in-depth review on Gran Fondo.

I was initially considering a lightweight hardtail MTB but the more and more I've thought about it I simply don't have the balls for MTB anymore and also the time I get to do it properly (kinda) is twice a year around Swinley Forest in Bracknell. 

So this led me to gravel bikes.

My budget is about £3750 although I'd prefer to get closer to £3k if that was possible. I initially looked at the Canyons with the weird handlebar, then the Cannondale Topstone with it's funky rear suspension. I then emailed a friend who's a serious road bike rider and he pointed me to Enigma and either their titanium escape or the rather beautiful steel Enigma Endeavour. But I then read a few posts suggesting both are over priced...the Carvelo Aspero sounds fast and racey but not great off road...it's all left me confused. I'd normally go to a shop and ask for professional advice but that's not possible at the moment. 

I'm keen to buy something that will multi-task well and also give me the option to swap over to some road wheels/tyres and do pure road riding when/if wanted. I'd rather spend the money on a quality frame with a lovely paint job and upgrade components over time than start with a low/mid spec frame.

So I'm looking for some advice and maybe other options I haven't thought about. 

Cheers 
James